Julia Guglia: n. (GOO-lee-uh)

I’ve been thinking about what I can do to be more like Julie Powell from that new movie Julie and Julia. In case you’re not familiar with the premise, here’s a very brief plot summary. (Or watch the trailer I guess: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjvJHsJD8ic)  Julie’s life is in a funk. She likes to cook. So she decides to cook all 500-something recipes in Julia Child’s cookbook in only one year. And she’s going to blog about it. Obviously in the long run it got her a book deal and a movie deal. The point of all this is I was thinking, what could I do to…not necessarily follow in her footsteps per se, but to maybe purposely parody her? 
I could watch all 45 Woody Allen films in one month without developing a complex. Too elitist? I could walk into various stores and document the behavior of employees as I act in a strange manner (i.e. Bath and Body Works: Take a sample bottle and begin lotioning all my exposed--and unexposed--skin). Too haphazard?  I could read a different blog about blogging every day and then blog about it. Too bloggy?

And that’s when it came to me! I could cook all the recipes in the Anarchist Cookbook in only one year!
However, this decision made me a little apprehensive. I needed to look up the Anarchist Cookbook because I only had a general idea of what was in it, but I didn’t want to have the FBI show up at my door in some sort of big misunderstanding, especially if one of my new housemates happens to be here illegally (I live with a family of Philipino immigrants). I could never live with myself if someone was deported because of me. The Visitor made me cry so hard. So for the sake of safety and this kind family’s well-being, I made sure to first type “cute puppies” into Google. Then after searching for the Anarchist Cookbook on Amazon.com, I searched for “Eat, Pray, Love” and “Marley and Me.” And then cute puppies again. You can’t be too careful.  Well, you can.  But I wouldn't constitute the amount of carefulness I designated to this particular internet search as being "too" much.

Fun fact: The original author of the Anarchist Cookbook now denounces his former irresponsible self for ever having written it.  He would prefer that it go out of print, but he does not own the rights.  Interesting!

And what a diverse book of recipes it is!  Everything from how to make bail in NYC, how to demolish suspension bridges, and a recipe for cacodyl (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cacodyl).  I didn't even know what that was before!  It sounds like something that would be found in nature.  Like katydids.  I'm going to write a children's book and call it "Katydids and Cacodyl."

Now, I am hardly a fan of explosions when they are on a movie screen (bleh, Michael Bay), let alone when they are in my specific vicinity so as to cause danger to myself and others.  I was particularly concerned when I read on one website:
Is the Anarchist Cookbook safe and accurate?
"No. According to people who know explosives, it contains many dangerous errors and formulas that are likely to hurt you. People strongly advise to stay away from it if you enjoy having your limbs."

Yeah.  For me, that's just a deal breaker.  I barely want to be a fully functioning Julie Powell.  Certainly an eyebrow-singed, felonious, nub-limbed version would not be better and in fact might be a lot worse.

So I guess I'm just not cut out to be like Julie at all.  But I should be setting my sights higher than that, shouldn't I?  If anyone, I should want to be like Julia Child.  I'm going to spend the next decade of my life writing a book that will hopefully become an American classic.  And then Meryl Streep will play me in the movie version of my life!

Maybe I'll just be myself.  (http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Yourself) ...I think I want to be like the guy in that picture!  He seems happy.  And I'm sure those people are laughing with him, not at him.